Rebecca’s Smile

Dear Readers

Today I got an email from a dear sister-friend. She had moved away from my hometown and I had not heard from her in some months. After reading her “news” I sat back in my chair and my mind wandered back to the first time I met Rebecca and her beautiful smile. I’d like to share her unique story and my small part in it with each of you. I hope you enjoy meeting Sister Rebecca.

Widad

A Good Deed

I was busy answering my emails when the telephone rang and the cheery voice on the other end said “As Salaam’Alaykum, Widad! How are you?” Before I could respond my dear friend Sis Zarinah said, “I have a special good deed just for you!”

My ears perked up at the words ‘good deed’ I was Muslim barely six months, so was anxious to do as many good deeds as possible having not so many recent opportunities due to being busy concentrating on learning about our Islam.

Sis Zarinah told me about a young woman who was being asked to leave her small apartment because she told her landlord (also a church member of her church) that she was going to become a Muslim! Sis Zarinah asked me if I could help this young woman find an apartment and if my family would help move her (we had a pick-up truck). I agreed and then using the phone number Zarinah provided, I telephoned Rebecca. She answered on the first ring as if she were sitting near the phone waiting anxiously for it to ring. Her voice was so soft when she answered I could barley hear her. We arranged to meet the next day at a local restaurant frequented by Muslims in my community.

That same afternoon I called many Apartment Complexes (I live in a large city) and I found a very nice place within ten minutes walking distance to our mosque. This was important as Rebecca said she would be losing her vehicle as it was borrowed and the person who had loaned it wanted it back now that she was to become Muslim. Rebecca explained in her soft and halting voice that her family lived in another State far away and this church she had been a member of had been like her family. I reassured her that she had a new family... the sister and brotherhood of Islam.

The next day I walked into the restaurant and spotted Rebecca immediately. No, I had never seen her before, but the large woman seated in a booth was aiming at me the most beautiful smile I think I have ever seen in my life! Her face was full and irregular. She was large boned and had many excess pounds and her hair... chestnut brown in a braid the length of which touched her knees! When she stood, she towered over me. I walked over to her and greeted her. We sat down and then… silence. I was soon to discover that Rebecca was painfully shy. She kept her shoulders hunched down and her head almost bowed. She spoke so softly I had difficulty hearing her. But whenever she looked up... her smile radiated out with such warmth that her lack of words didn’t seem to matter much.

Now me... well, I was soo nervous. This was my first real opportunity at doing daw’ah and being a good Islamic example to a soon to be new Muslim revert. I wanted so much to do everything just right! I chattered along like a freight train that had gone out of control. Finally I paused long enough to catch my breath. It was then that Rebecca asked me to take her to the masjid so she could see it. This I was most happy to do.

Sister Rebecca

A week later and after getting Rebecca moved, a community event was scheduled to take place at the masjid. I called Rebecca and she agreed to go with me. Rebecca never initiated any conversations. She would just nod her head and smile. She was so shy it was almost painful to see. Even with me, she barely spoke. While attending the community event and visiting the masjid library so Rebecca could get some good reading books for understanding Islam, the Imam walked in. I introduced Rebecca to the Imam. I expected one of her shy, but lovely smiles as her response to his greeting. Instead she said clearly without a quaver in her voice, “I want to be Muslim I want to speak Shahadah!” Right then and there Rebecca became Sister Rebecca. What joy I experienced and her smiles were even lovelier, if that were possible.

Still she remained shy and rarely spoke over the next six months of our budding friendship. One evening I received an email from her. She said she had met a brother in a Muslim ‘chat’ room and he had proposed marriage. She wanted me to help her as she thought she wanted to marry this Muslim brother. I was almost too shocked for words. Here…Ramadan was upon us and I had been busy explaining Ramadan and Eid to Sis Rebecca and she had not said a word about marriage or this brother. I had no knowledge about Muslim marriage and didn’t even know where to begin to help Sis Rebecca!

Brother Faisal

We agreed to meet the following week. This would give me time to do some research and ask for the help of my friend Sis Zarinah! I sought the help of my new sister-friends in the sister egroups I had joined to learn more about Islam for myself. I was very nervous and afraid I would not help Sis Rebecca correctly. I said many du’a and rose late in the night to pray. I tried to convince her to speak with the Imam or other sisters, but she was just so shy that she said she could not do this! So it was my “problem” or “opportunity” however one would see this. I learned about “wali” “nikkah” and “mahr”. I read about the rights of wives and rights of husbands. I read many articles about Muslim marriage and learned that if the couple has different cultures that this could present problems and the issues should be discussed before marriage. I talked to the Iman about this marriage proposal.

Finally, I realized that Sis Rebecca needed somebody to ‘check out’ this brother. To make sure he was a practicing Muslim. I created a list of over 100 questions to ask this brother and then I told Sis Rebecca to write to him and tell him that I wanted to discuss his marriage plans for her and for him to answer my questions. Well, I was a very new Muslimah myself and did not know any better. I thought I would be her wali… not realizing that it should be a brother or possibly the Imam performing these duties. Allah be praised this brother took no offense and he answered all my questions and provided references for me to check. He lived in California (a neighboring State) He was a Jordanian born Christian, but had become Muslim ten years previously. He told me his parents immigrated to the USA to get him away from all the Muslims in Jordan. But Allah is the best planner and it was here in the USA that he became Muslim in spite of all his family did to keep him away from Muslims.

I insisted that he must come to Arizona and meet Sister Rebecca and the Imam. I had read that Muslims should, if possible, meet one another before they marry. I had scolded this good brother for keeping Sister Rebecca away from her concentration on remembrances of Allah as it was Ramadan and his many emails were a distraction! This poor man apologized over and over. I think I was a very hard task master! .

I think back on all this and I am certain that Allah surely wanted this marriage because I did so much to discourage this brother! It wasn’t intentional. All I did was well intentioned and I thank Allah that Br. Faisal was a kind and patient Muslim man. After much discussion it was arranged for Br. Faisal and Sister Rebecca to meet each other in the Imam’s office with the Imam and I present. It had been decided that Sis Rebecca and Br. Faisal would marry after Ramadan and Eid were concluded.

For the life of me I could not figure out why this brother was so insistent upon marriage to my Sister Rebecca...the shy Muslimah of few words. He had certainly written many emails to her and her replies were little more than Yes or No responses! Only much later did I learn that Sis Rebecca had sent him a picture of herself “smiling”!

The Meeting

The big day arrived! I went to get Sis Rebecca and I drove us to the masjid for this first meeting! When we arrived at the Imam’s office Br. Faisal and the Iman were already there. When the Imam introduced Sis Rebecca to Br. Faisal, she squared her shoulders that perpetually drooped, and raised her bowed head. The smile she gave Br, Faisal almost knocked him backwards as it was so beautiful. Its warmth radiated out and I stood almost transfixed by the look of absolute love that fell upon Br. Faisal’s face. The poor man was thunder struck and could only stutter his Salaams.

For over two hours we sat and listened to the Imam speak. All Sister Rebecca and Br. Faisal did was sneak glances and smile at each other. Later that afternoon Sis Rebecca telephoned me to tell me she and Br. Faisal had decided to marry the very next day and would I stand with her as she had no family but me. I was not the least bit surprised. Br. Faisal was too afraid to leave his Rebecca behind for some other brother to discover such a pious, gentle and beautiful Muslimah! I scrambled and got Sis Zarinah and another friend to join the signing of the marriage contract the next day. Sis Rebecca was wearing a lovely cover and hijab she had made herself. I brought her a dozen red roses and some other gifts for them. The Imam was ever so polite in asking me to read the contract for Sis Rebecca before the contract was signed and the two male witnesses signed it, too. When the signing was completed, Rebecca smiled. Everyone around her smiled back. Her smiles just make you feel happy and grateful to Allah.

Today, Sis Rebecca and her dear hubby live in the State of Oregon and are very well suited and happy. One of her wedding gifts from her hubby was that he teaches her Arabic so she could read the Qur’an. He has kept his word!